| DDR so far... |
[Jul. 17th, 2009|04:50 pm] |
When I started my Dance Dance Resolution at the beginning of the year, my main goal was to get out of the doldrums. And I have, absolutely, without a doubt -- it's been mostly good, verging on great some nights. The best nights have been solo ventures, when I could've easily bailed, when I was sick and wanted to do nothing but curl up into a ball on the couch and watch TV, but got dressed up and headed out the door anyway, often to a place where I knew no one, and managed to have fun and dance and even chat up a stranger or two. Those are the best nights. A close second are nights when I'm out with friends who dig what I'm doing -- you guys rock!
Yet sometimes it feels like there's not enough solution in my resolution, that I've simply exchanged one routine for another. If anything I've been much lazier socially than if I'd chosen, say, going on dinner dates as my resolution. Dancing is the only to-do on my DDR checklist and it's one of those deceptively anti-social activities, like watching movies (unless you're willing to grind with strangers on the dance floor, and I am not). Romantically, I've been clicking along in a comfortable rut. Every week I have a date with a guy I like, which I usually really look forward to but sometimes don't, yet always manage to enjoy no matter how I'm feeling beforehand. Funny, how life imitates dance :) Between that and DDR, it feels like I've relegated myself to the same weekend experiences until New Year's Eve.
Thing is, I like 'em both, and I don't relish the idea of giving up either of 'em. Although lately the consequences of dating a player have been more difficult to manage than usual -- all's fun and games until someone loses an "I", and my soul is definitely suffering. So making a change on that front isn't just about being more social. As far as DDR is concerned, maybe I need to add conversation to my checklist: I can't leave until I've at least met someone and learned his or her name, or recruited someone to the group, or posed for a picture with someone else.
Or maybe once I change one routine, the other will follow suit organically, in an interesting an unexpected way. Yes, I like that, let's give that a go. |
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| dance dance resolution |
[Jan. 27th, 2009|11:13 pm] |
I'm going to come right out and say it -- my 2008 sucked. It started sucking almost exactly one year ago, when my boyfriend and I broke up, just a few days shy of my birthday. It really sucked through the month of February, when we continued to live together as roommates and co-dog owners (sharing the same bed, no less). And it sucked even more after my third and final personal training session in mid-February, when I started to feel a strange pain in my knee that has plagued me ever since.
The summer blew. I was doing physio to try and get my knee to behave properly, eschewing my favourite social sporting activities in favour of monotonous solo strengthening exercises, all of which made me look and feel like a complete moron. I was actually happy that the weather was so miserable -- all the fun, summery outings I might've otherwise enjoyed were getting pissed on, too. I spent my summer holiday playing Scrabble in Orlando, Florida, fer chrissake.
As summer came to an end and I slowly started to regain confidence in my athletic abilities, I attempted to finish out the Ultimate season. But I quickly realized that I really wasn't up for it, neither mentally nor physically. I was in a shitty, shitty mood, and all I really wanted to do was sit at home and surf and watch TV and read. I tried to get it back up for Scrabble, but my efforts felt obviously desperate to me. What I really wanted was something big, something engrossing to fill the void. Games weren't going to cut it.
Things started to change as the year drew to a close. I met someone, or rather, I started to get to know someone better that I'd met a while ago, and found another lens with which to view my life. I was reminded of who I used to be before domestic day-to-day took hold of me and the values I used to hold dear. I slowly regained my appreciation of singlehood, and eventually my appetite for it. The void was still there -- there really is no substitute for a love relationship -- but it didn't gnaw at me as much, and I felt like I could start investing myself in other pursuits.
It started safely, with ex-sale.com, an idea I'd had for a long, long time (see previous posts) and finally found the headspace for to get online. While I was building ex-sale.com, I rediscovered another long-lost passion, one that I really couldn't indulge in when I was co-habbing or rehabbing: dancing. After dark I'd turn off all the lights, crank my iTunes-fed stereo and dance the night away. However, to paraphrase one of the great dancing queens of our time, by the time Christmas holidays rolled around I was getting tired of dancing in my apartment all by myself and I wanted to dance with somebody else. Anybody else, really, as long as they enjoyed dancing even half as much as I did.
I decided then and there that I was going to make my new year's resolution about getting out more. When I told my friend, he reminded me of the SMART principle for setting goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Reasonable and, Timely). OK, so I modified it to "every weekend, on either Friday or Saturday night, I will go out dancing at a club in Toronto." I realized I would never do it unless I made a public point of it, so I launched my Dance Dance Resolution group on Facebook and I've been out every weekend since.
I know it's still early, but I really feel like this is something I can accomplish, and that others dig the idea, too, even without the back story. Yep, my 2009 is going to ROCK! |
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| The new maternity leave |
[Mar. 12th, 2008|12:01 am] |
I'm resurrecting this idea from the idea cemetery because it came up recently in conversation, and I gotta start somewhere. So this is my idea for the new maternity leave.
The reason maternity leave exists in our society is because the government feels it's in the public's best interest. The argument is that if the mother is encouraged to stay home and take care of her child during the first year of life, both the mother and the child will be fitter, happier and more productive.
However, there are countries all over the world that can't afford this luxury. I would like to see Canada adopt a new "parental leave" option, for men or women who are willing to live abroad up to a year to take care of children other than their own. There are enough reputable operations that offer Canadian adults an opportunity to do this -- the problem is it's very cost-prohibitive. While I'd like to see some EI benefits funneled to these global care providers, even if the government just protected the adult's job so that he or she could return to work after the year-long leave, that would be a help. It's a shame that these benefits are only doled out to parents of children who are already relatively privileged. |
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| Deal or No Deal: The Relationship Edition |
[Nov. 14th, 2006|04:06 pm] |
If you are not familiar with the game show "Deal or No Deal," first read the wikipedia definition. If you are, this is that game show but with a relationship twist.
The Premise:
How much is your relationship worth? $50? $75,000? Or are you one of those rare and lucky individuals who has in their possession a $1,000,000 relationship? "Deal or No Deal: The Relationship Edition" tests your courage and conviction as it applies to your relationship and the risks you're willing to take to find "the one."
Game Set-up:
Before playing "Deal or No Deal: The Relationship Edition" you will have to fill out a Potential Partner questionnaire that prioritizes his or her characteristics. To make it simple, let's say you have to identify 26 important characteristics of a potential partner and rank them from 1 (bare minimum... like "sense of humour") to 26 (the nicest of nice-to-haves... like "extremely wealthy"). The questionnaire model I have in my head is a series of multiple choice questions, each one asking to rank the importance of a certain characteristic. For example, Question 1 would be "How important is a sense of humour?" and the choices would range from "Very important" to "Not important at all." Once you'd answered 26 questions with "Very important," you would have to rank those important characteristics from 1 to 26. Not terribly scientific, but manageable and fairly representative, I think.
Play the Game:
Step 1: Choose a Partner
At the start of the game, you have no relationship. In front of you stand 26 Potential Partners, each of varying worths. One of them displays all 26 characteristics you've determined are important to you, while another one only displays the bare minimum, and there's one person for every iteration in between. However, it's impossible to tell on the surface who's who. They are all equally attractive to you, but it's what's inside that counts... and you will only know what's inside if you decide to get to know them better.
Before you start exploring, choose one of the 26 Potential Partners at random (I'm going to make them male for the sake of argument). Maybe you like the twinkle in his eye. Maybe he has a twitch that you find particularly endearing and you think it's a sign. You ask him to be your partner, and he agrees. Now, you have a relationship -- yay! Unfortunately, the game doesn't allow you to find out if what you have is really that great or not through experience; it only allows you to measure what you think you might have against what else is potentially out there. The question is: Will you accept the "sure thing" you have in your hands? Or will you risk it in the hopes finding something better?
Step 2: Explore your Options
In order to get an idea of what you might have, you have to find out what else is out there. Immediately, you have to get to know six other potential partners. You hope they all suck, which would mean that the chances of you having a worthy partner in your possession are pretty good. The better your chances of a worthy partner, the sweeter the offer made by Cupid. It's up to you to either keep meeting and disposing of potential partners because you believe you've found "the one," or let Cupid match you up with someone else if your confidence begins to wane.
Let's say you've revealed Potential Partners 4, 9, 13, 15, 18 and 22. That means there are still Potential Partners 1, 2 and 3 left to encounter (yikes!), but there are also 23, 24, 25 and 26 (yay!) So you could have any of these, or any of the others that are left. Cupid makes you an offer somewhere in the middle, but slightly in your favour... say, 16. Do you want to accept a partner with characteristics 1 through 16 only? Or do you want to keep looking and hope that either Cupid will eventually make you a better offer or that you, in fact, have a better candidate already in your possession?
The decision is yours...
Winning the Game
Just like in the original game show, every player ends up with a relationship. The value of the relationship, however, depends on how much risk players are willing to contend with during game play, and at what point they accept a deal. Some people end up with a lame relationship because they settle right away, or they wait too long and exhaust any other opportunities. Then again, some people end up with a great relationship through a rare combination of luck and perseverence. Then there are the many people in between who make compromises but are generally happy with what they have.
How many characteristics would your Potential Partner have to display before you were willing to stop the search? Find out when you play... "Deal or No Deal: The Relationship Edition"! |
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| the idea cemetery |
[Nov. 14th, 2006|02:05 pm] |
I received a notice from my domain registry that ex-sale.com is up for renewal in January. Ex-sale.com is a great idea for a website, but without the requisite skills in site-building, I'm afraid I will be forced to bury the idea in the "idea cemetery." It is a sad and lonely place, the idea cemetery is, with rows of rough-hewn headstones sticking jaggedly out of the ground. I don't like to spend a lot of time there -- it reminds me of how quick I am to dump and run. Here are some of the other ideas buried in the cemetery:
- Plotlines for two movies I tried to write
- The New Marriage
- The New Maternity Leave
- In The City Productions (at least, how it was originally conceived)
- Deal or No Deal: The Relationship Edition
Those are just the ones that were conceived and died within the last couple of years. I've decided to document them here in case I or someone else decided they were worth pursuing beyond the conceptual stage. Feel free to take anything you find here and run with it. |
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